This is Just a Dream
by Chikasumi Kurotsuki
Summary: A two shot about Jem and Tessa. Tessa and Jem are married and Jem is in the Marines, how will Tessa handle the worse thing that could possible happen? (Sorry the summary sucks, I hope you still read it)
1. Chapter 1

This is Just a Dream

**A two shot about Tessa and Jem based of off the song **_**This is Just a Dream**_** by Carrie Underwood. This is based in the modern world and there are no Shadowhunters/Downworlders. They were living in America and Jem joined the U.S. Marines. Obviously I do not own the characters or the song, only the idea and the story itself. Hope you like it.**

Tessa could remember it like it was yesterday, the day she got married. She hadn't been eighteen but for two weeks and she was both scarred and anxious. Her dress was beautiful and she couldn't wait for Jem to see her in it. The dress was strapless and it was fitted to about her hips and then flared out like a ball gown. It was adorned with lace and the back was layered and had a train. Her bouquet was of calla lilies and red and white roses. Her garter was blue and she had an old pair of her mother's pearls she had barrowed for the occasion, she had even managed to get a sixpence which was currently in her left shoe. The ceremony had been short and sweet and the attendance small. As soon as the preacher had announced them Mr. and Mrs. James Carstairs they were out the doors and on to their new life together. A life they were supposed to have for forever.

Tessa came back to the present as she heard doors closing and people walking on gravel. She looked over to the passenger seat where and old shoe box rested, a shoe box full of letters in Jem's handwriting. With a deep breath, she got out of the old Chevy truck that Jem had bought before they had even started dating. Approaching the church the doors opened and Tessa pulled down her veil in an attempt to hide her tears. Throughout the ceremony Tessa struggled her hardest to hold it together until the trumpets started to play softly and she started to come undone. Knowing she wouldn't be able to get through the rest of the service she let her mind wonder again.

Memories flooded Tessa's mind and she let them, for they were happy memories of better times in her life. Like Jem carrying her over the threshold of their new home, placing her down gently onto her own feet, and then them kissing each other as if the moment they stopped the other might disappear. After that the days seemed to almost blur together, but in a good way, because they were so happy. Chasing each other around the house, making a mess out of the kitchen, going on long drives with Tessa sitting in the middle beside Jem, laying in the bed of his truck looking at the stars in each other's arms, so many wonderful moments together. They had been happy and she couldn't remember any time they had been upset with each other for longer than a few minutes. And then four months after their wedding came the day he was to be deployed and Tessa stood in the airport watching the plane take off with Jem on it to fight in some desert. She remembered every day that they were able to Skype each other and how excited she would be when a letter would come in the mail, promising he would do everything in his power to make it back home to her.

Without were biding, Tessa's grief came back at the last thought. It wasn't far. They were supposed to raise a family and grow old together. But now all she could ever think about was how that wasn't going to happen and how every voice she heard was telling her that he wasn't coming back. Tessa didn't understand how it could all be real; surely it was just some terrible dream. Some nightmare that she couldn't wake up from.

She was brought back to reality as someone's hand touched her should gently. Tessa looked up and saw that it was Will, Jem's best friend. They had been so close they were practically brothers. Much to Tessa's relief the preacher started to pray and Tessa folded her hands tightly. He asked that the Lord lift up Jem's soul and to mend the pain and anguish that was in everyone's hearts. Then everyone stood up from where they sat and sang the saddest song that Tessa had ever heard. Even though she had a feeling she may have heard the song before, but she couldn't remember. All she did know was that it would forever be associated to this dreadful day.

Tessa started to tremble as the preacher continued on after the song and was a little relieved when Will grabbed her arm and kept her from collapsing. When the preacher was done three marines folded up the flag that had been lying across the cold white casket and one of them presented it to her. He looked at her with sorrow in his eyes as she took it from him with trembling hands and hugged it to her for dear life. Then the guns started to go off and Tessa had to force herself from flinching and when the last one went off and rang throughout the silence of the day she had to keep herself from breaking down again as her heart, once again, started to ache.

Then slowly, people placed flowers that they had brought, or been provided, on the top of the casket. Tessa just stood their mournfully staring at it, trying to breathe even though that was a nearly impossible task. Then, not being able to take it anymore, Tessa took a few steps forward and placed her hand hesitantly on the cold, smooth surface. She then threw her arms across it and placed her head in her arms and sobbed.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. It really wasn't. Not in a million years would she have thought that Jem would be stolen from her so quickly. How she wished she could go back to the day when that black suburban had rolled to a stop in front of her drive and a man in uniform had walked up to her door and told her that Jem had been killed in combat. How she wished she would wake up soon to find out it was all just a terrible dream. He was only going to be gone for six months and then he would be home again. Tessa only had to wait out two more weeks and she would be waiting at the airport, waiting to through herself into Jem's loving arms. Only two more weeks, that was all, when that terrible black vehicle of grief had stopped in front of their house.

Tessa ached to wake up to find Jem home and safe and sleeping peacefully beside her. She longed to have those beautiful eyes' gaze on her, to run her fingers through his silky hair, to have him hold her in his strong arms, to see his smile and hear his laugh, to her him say her name, and to listen to him play his violin. Tessa was supposed to have the next sixty to seventy years to live her life with Jem. They'd barely had a year together. How was that even possible?

Surely all of this was just a dream. Because it had to be, right? Even with everyone saying he wasn't coming home all of this couldn't be real. There was no way it could be real.

"This is just a dream." Tessa whispered to the cold surface her head was resting on. Even though deep down she knew that is wasn't, she knew that her Jem was gone and he wasn't coming back. But a part of her just wasn't ready to accept it and therefore she couldn't, because maybe, just maybe if she believed hard enough she would wake up and Jem wouldn't be gone. He wouldn't be dead. He would be alive and well right by her side. Tessa knew her denial wasn't good, that it was only making things worse for her, but she couldn't help herself. Because when she got back to that lonely house full of memories it would have to be true and Tessa couldn't take it. So again and again she said it, because she so desperately wanted it to be true.

"This is just a dream."

**So I was going to stop here, but I wasn't completely happy with it and I wanted to write more about it so I decided to make a second part and that turned into being a second chapter. So yeah. I hope you liked this and I hope you like the next chapter as well….. **


	2. Chapter 2

**This next chapter is from Will's point of view, obviously. Enjoy!**

Will stood on the road several feet back from where Jem was to be laid to rest, watching. Watching Tessa as she cried her heart out over the coffin and the sight nearly tore his heart apart even more. Jem had been his best friend since they were twelve years old. They had been brothers in ever since of the word. High school they had been inseparable. Even sophomore year when Tessa started school as a freshman and Jem had fallen head over heels in love with her and it had resulted in Jem spending less time with Will and a little more time with Tessa. Will couldn't help but admit that he had found himself attracted to her as well in the beginning, but he had gracefully bowed out when it was obvious that Tessa was in love with Jem as well. They spent the next three years of high school as the best of friends, along with a few others.

Then when they had graduated, both Jem and Will joined the Marines. They couldn't think of anything better than to spend their life protecting their country. At first Tessa had been a little mad when Jem had told her, but that had been because she had been a little afraid of the idea. Slowly she came around and she was soon proud of Jem and loved him even more. Will found it endearing that anytime they were away from home due to training Jem made sure to right to her every day and if he missed a day he would write two letters. A fact that Will had made sure to tease Jem about.

Will remembered Jem proposing to Tessa at a New Year's party that Jem's family had been hosting. He had told Jem he was crazy for wanting to get married so soon, but in the end Will had told him he was happy for Jem. Especially when she said yes and had been brought to tears and Will thought she would never stop hugging Jem. Tessa graduated high school and turned eighteen and then they got married. Only to have Jem and Will deployed to the Middle East four months later. The mission was only going to last six months and they would be on their way back to the States. It wasn't even supposed to be that hostile of a mission.

Suddenly Will was sucked back to that day, that day everything had gone wrong. They only two weeks left, a mere fourteen days, until they were on a plane back home to New York. They were almost to the base when a truck two up from theirs exploded. Will didn't remember much of what was going on besides the sounds of guns going off and more explosions. Jem and Will had gotten out of their vehicle and had found cover in some rocks were they were picking of the enemy. There was a moment of silence and the soldiers waited it out to see if it really was safe to come out. Finally their commanding officer told them it was safe to come out and they started to investigate the remaining trucks. The commander was calling in what had happened and then said that more troops would be joining them soon.

Finally Jem and will got done with their investigating and were sitting own a large rock off to the side. They were talking and joking and secretly relieved that they hadn't been were the explosions had been. The other troops showed up and they were loading up to move back to base when all of a sudden a grenade was thrown in their direction. Will called out to Jem, whose foot had just stopped its rolling. Jem looked down and then looked up in alarm, but before he could do anything there was an explosion and Will was forced to cover his eyes. Uncovering his eyes, Will looked around and his eyes caught something just as he felt a searing pain in his shoulder. Without a second thought Will lifted his gun and fired at the figure up in the rocks and saw it tumble down. He then moved to Jem who was alive, but just barely. Will was vaguely aware of a bunch of shouting around him, but he didn't pay it any attention. His only thought was that he had to make sure Jem got home, not only because Jem was Jem but because he had made a promise that he would.

"Jem." Will said as he kneeled down beside his best friend.

"Will." Jem's voice was shaky and quiet, weak.

"Don't talk. You should save your energy."

Jem shook his head. "Promise me." He said in his ragged voice as he breathed heavily.

Will suppressed a sigh and nodded his head. "Anything."

"Make sure Tessa's okay." Will had to keep himself from flinching, but he couldn't stop himself from suddenly feeling desperate.

"I can't," Jem's eyes gained an even more pained look, "I can't because you are going to make it home, so it would be irrelevant."

Jem sighed, or at least Will thought it was meant to be a sigh, and gave him a stern look. "Just promise me."

Will could now feel the despair slowly climbing up through him but he managed to keep his composure. "I promise, Jem. I promise. Even though you are going to make it home alive."

"Thank you." Jem said and then broke into a bunch of coughing.

"Jem." Will said in concern as he grabbed his friend's hand, not bothering to hide the panic in his voice.

Jem smiled up at him weakly and laughed a little. "I'm glad… you… are my… friend." His voice was haggard now and he seemed to be forcing the words out of his lips.

"Jem."

"Take care… brother…" Jem said, breathing more heavily than he should and then closing his eyes.

"Jem. Jem. JEM!" Will said franticly, trying to get his friend to open his eyes again. He swore and started yelling again. "James, open your eyes right now."

Jem's hand tightened on Will's for a second and his breathing became less rushed. Then his breathing stopped and his hand went limp in Will's as his life slipped from his being.

Will suddenly fell into a rage and threw his fists down onto the hard ground. He'd failed. He'd fail not only Tessa, but Jem and himself as well. He remembered the day at the airport and him trying to comfort her and tell her it was all going to be alright.

"It's going to be alright. Six months is short. We'll be home before you know it." Will said brightly.

Tessa looked up at him and sighed. "Just make sure you both make it back."

Will looked down at her with a serious look. "I promise you, Tess, I'll bring Jem back home safe and sound." Tessa looked at him for a moment and then nodded.

"Thank you."

Will looked down at his hands in despair. He's failed. Then, setting his resolve, Will took a deep breath and decided that he would do whatever it took to make sure Tessa survived this. He's already broken one promise, he wasn't about to break another one.

Taking a deep breath Will made his way back to Tessa and said her name. But she ignored him and kept on crying and whispering something he couldn't make out. It really did hurt to see her like this. Not only because he felt like he was already failing Jem, but also because he cared about her. Deciding she wouldn't make it easy for him he grabbed her around the waist and started to pull her away, only to be resulted in her kicking and screaming at him. Will stopped walking and just stood there as she continued on with her tantrum until she stopped and let out a soft hiccup. Slowly, Will loosened his grip on Tessa a little and she turned around and looked up at him. Her eyes were red, her makeup smeared, and she was trembling in his arms.

"I'm sorry." Will said softly. He had meant to say it so many times and he never had. There had been times when he could have, but he couldn't gather enough courage to tell her. He couldn't fight through the guilt and anguish he felt at failing her and losing his best friend. Tessa looked at him with her grief stricken eyes and then closed them for a second and took a deep breath. When she opened them again they seemed a little less sad and had a friendly look in them.

"I know." She said quietly. So quietly that Will wasn't sure for a second if she had said it.

This time without her fighting him, Will was able to lead her out of the cemetery. Will felt some of his guilt fade away, not all of it, but it was better than before. He was going to keep his promise this time. He was going to spend the rest of his life if he had to making sure that Tessa was alright. Because Jem had asked him to.

….

….

…..

Will sat on the back porch of his home and watched as his wife played with their daughter and two sons. It had been a long twenty years, but Will had managed to keep his promise. Though at times he couldn't help but feel guilty about his life because it was a life that should have been Jem's. Sometimes he wondered if Tessa thought the same thing, but whenever those thoughts came into his head he was quick to push them aside because he knew they would get him nowhere and they weren't thoughts that should be dwelled upon.

But it did the fact that she was happy and laughing was always enough to ease the guilt that never completely went away. When he had made his promise to Jem all those years ago he had never imagined that this was how things would end up. He'd always thought he would just look after Tessa and made sure she eventually moved on in life and then they would both go their separate ways and Will would make sure to check up on her every now and then. The life he had now had never even came across his mind. Not once had he imagined that once they were both up on their feet and Tessa was finally able to live life and say Jem's name without breaking down into tears that they would ever be more than friends.

Sure it had been a good five or six years later when they started to see each other differently, but he had never once thought they themselves would get married and have a family of their own. Naming their first child, a lovely gray eyed boy, James. That had been Tessa's idea and Will had been surprised at the idea, but he had agreed. Because even though he knew that Tessa had moved on and that she did love him, she also still loved Jem, and that was something that would never go away.

It was moments like these that he wondered if the last twenty year really wasn't just a dream.

**So, originally this was going to be a one shot and I was just going to have Will's POV at the end to show that Tessa's life went on, but then I started to right about how Jem died and why Will felt guilty and I just couldn't help myself. So then I decided why not make it a two shot. So here you are. I hope I didn't ruin it by adding this and I hope you liked it! Please let me know your thoughts. Also please feel free to read some of my other stories. (I also did not mean to make it sound like Pearl Harbor, it was purely by accident because after I wrote it and read through it again I was like oh… that wasn't supposed to happen, but it's done and I really didn't want to rewrite it.) P.S. I know I said this was a Jem/Tessa story and it was meant to be purely that but then I just kept typing and couldn't help myself. Sorry. That is also why I didn't show any of Tessa's feelings for Will. **


End file.
